Is It Too Late?

Posted: October 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

By Hanna Munin

It would be great if we all realized our mistakes right when they are happening, but it rarely works that way. We often don’t pay attention to unhealthy behaviors in ourselves or our partner until after the relationship has ended. So what could you do when you’re still in the relationship?

1. It’s important to evaluate your behaviors. Did you make an unhealthy decision? When you learn that a past behavior you exhibited in a relationship was unhealthy, it’s important to then determine a different behavior that would have been healthy, so you can try to do that next time.
2. Do you have triggers or things that happen in relationships that really set you off? One thing that can help in these situations is to identify the trigger point. What was it that made act out in the way you shouldn’t have? You can try to figure this out by journaling. By writing about your day, you can look for the things that made you angry or jealous and resulted in your acting in order to learn what your breaking point is.
3. What can you do to prevent yourself from acting out in the future? Find new ways to release emotions that were building up inside of you when you chose the unhealthy behavior. Sometimes, we act out instead of just sharing what we were thinking or feeling. We can avoid a lot of conflicts by sharing our experience when it’s happening.
This process is easier said than done, but it’s necessary if you want to avoid regrets. To get the ball rolling, it can always help to look over resources that educate about healthy relationships. One helpful resource is Loveisrespect, the National Dating Abuse Helpline: http://www.loveisrespect.org/dating-basics/healthy-relationships/healthy-relationships-quiz.

 

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